Sitting on the train, happily reading a recent Closer magazine, perusing celebrity diets I would never try and size 8 models I will never be, I came across an article concerning a very specific type of dating.
Dating websites that are exclusively for pregnant women and men seeking the same.
This shocked me beyond belief but the fact is there are enough single pregnant women to make this a business, why anyone would want to be in such a business is beyond me. It’s fraught with moral and social issues and it’s something that I find personally very distasteful.
I discussed this article with Gascoigne who shared my opinion but whilst the article focused on why men would use a site like this, Gascoigne and I were wondering about the women.
Now I am not about to bash single pregnant women, who knows how someone ends up pregnant and alone and it cannot always be concluded that the mother is a woman of lose morals.
I’m also not criticising pregnant women for wanting sex, sex during pregnancy is safe and from what Gascoigne tells me women can be rampant during those 9 months.
What I do criticise though, and unashamedly, is that women who are pregnant would seek encounters of a physical nature on a website and have sex with someone other than the baby’s father, Pregnant sex with a stranger…
The article described the content of the women’s profiles and ranged from those seeking romance to the women who made it very plain that they were looking for someone to sleep with.
I understand that not all women on these sites will be looking for the same thing, some may be looking for romance, not considering sex. Whether they will find that is another matter but this blog is specific to the women who are seeking sexual encounters and being explicit in finding them.
I did say to Gasgoine that I was worried the blog on this subject wouldn’t be balanced, and it may not be so forgive me but this is just how I feel about the subject. Your honour, I present my case
1. Personal safety
If a woman meets someone on the internet and decides he is so much of a stud she simply must meet him for sex that’s up to her. But when pregnant there are certain risks you should not take. Meeting a stranger, even in a public place, before retiring somewhere more private is severely dangerous.
You don’t know this person, even psychopaths look friendly enough sometimes. You’re not at your speediest, or your best fighting weight when you are pregnant and if you wanted to leave or needed to get away it could be difficult . It’s not just you that you are responsible for.
There is a child living in you, depending on you for life. I don’t mean to sound preachy here but would you take a two month old baby round to some guys house and place the baby carrier in the corner of the room while you have casual sex with this stranger? Just because the baby isn’t born does not mean that you are not putting the child at as much risk by meeting someone in this way.
2. Responsibility
Pregnancy is a wonderful time but also, I have been told, is a time when women can feel very frustrated about their body not being their own, about being told what they can do for nine months, what they can’t, and what they should eat.
However whether you planned to or not you got pregnant, and that means that you have to be unselfish for nine months (you know and the next 18-30 years) and do whatever is best for the baby during that time. Whatever is best - not whatever your horny vagina tells you.
Most people wouldn’t drink, smoke, take drugs or take part in dangerous sports/activities when pregnant, that’s called being responsible. They would also normally avoid anything that might give them an infections. The mention of chickenpox makes most pregnant women freak out.
Casual sex, even if using barrier methods of contraception, still carries a risk. Obviously whilst pregnant you don’t technically need contraception for the non-baby making purpose but it’s important to stay safe. For me casual sex is too risky while pregnant, what if you caught something that condoms couldn’t protect against, what if it affected the baby?
How shameful would it be that before you child was even born you had managed to cause a medical issue for it? Parenthood is filled with guilt, at some point your toddler will bump it’s head/fall over and often the mummy’s tears last longer that the child’s, because the mum feels responsible and feels like they have let the child down (of course they haven’t these things just happen).
I’ve watched it first hand, the perplexed little toddler who got over it ages ago and the mummy unwrapping a plaster, lip still wobbling and claiming she is a bad mother. So how would you cope if you caused a problem with your baby. How could you live with that? Would it be worth it?
STD’s - Of course guys will tell you they are 100% clean and safe and here is why – Most men would rather have sex bareback than not and someone you meet of the internet owes you no honesty – bear that in mind.
3. The Ick factor
You have a baby in your belly, you love it, you have yet to meet it but you’re already it’s mummy. And mummy goes on the internet to find a dick to bounce on for the next few months (or one night) frankly I just find it so disgusting.
Before anyone thinks I am totally stupid I do understand that the baby is in a confined space and nothing icky will actually get to the baby. It’s not the sex that bothers me, if it is with the baby’s dad but someone else shagging the mummy is just plain wrong.
Some of the men featured in this article had a fetish for the bump, this makes my skin crawl. I know this is going to sound controversial but… they have a thing for the bump – in the bump there is a baby – therefore they are turned on by the fact that there is a baby in the belly (because with no baby there would be no bump)
I hope I am not the only one who thinks about it like this. These guys could date larger ladies if they had a thing for belly’s but they are don’t, they have a thing for a pregnant belly and it creeps me out.
I don’t care what peoples fetishes are, as long as they don’t hurt anyone else (without consent) but this fetish involves the Mother, the man (whoever he may be) and the third party, the baby, who has no say and I have to say I couldn’t ever imagine a guy talking about a baby bump to me as if it were as attractive as a nice pair of boobs and not tell him he was a pervert.
And in fairness I am pretty darn liberal on these subjects.
4. The alternatives
I don’t care how horny you get, there are lots of products to keep you company during in the 9 months of pregnancy.
This leads into the reason why I am not convinced the women who say they are only looking for sex whilst pregnant are telling the truth. I think they are just as lonely and wanting romance as everyone else, they just don’t want to admit it. How many times have you heard this scenario:
Girl meets boy
Boy says he is not looking for anything serious
Girl agrees and they get down to it for a few months
Girl gets emotionally attached
Girl wonders why boy is not saying I love you/proposing
Girl confesses love to boy
Boy says it was just casual
Girl throws a bitch fit
Boy is left confused
The moral of this story is that women lie about their emotional availability. I am not convinved that some of the women advertising themselves (because that’s pretty much what they are doing) for casual sex are not looking for something more and a little piece of them thinks they will meet someone romantic and kind on the internet.
Its easy to make bad choices when hormonal, during my friends pregnancy she geniunley couldn’t remember what colour the towles were in her downstairs loo (they were blue) She bought pink toilet paper and then cried because it didn’t match the towels.
You are not in the place to be making decisions when horomoal especially ones that might impact on your child. I appreciate that I am not a rampant pregnant woman but I have been single well over a year now and nine months is not that long to go without certain acts.
If sex got you into the pregnant and single situation what makes you think sex will help you out of it and land you on your feet with someone who wants to be with you and the baby?
Rant over
Until next time
SG
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