This date has been terminated…all change please

Sadly it would appear I am going through an internet dating dry spell. My last two dates have cancelled on me which aside from being very annoying is leaving me a little perplexed as to whether I am doing anything wrong pre-date.

Update: Before I get into all that, an update on conductor guy. This was my one very good date. He had asked if I was free the following week at the end of the evening, it all seemed very positive.

He then said he was too busy with work to meet until the week after. So from there I left the ball firmly in his court. After all he had reiterated that he did want to meet up again. And…nothing. I haven’t heard a peep from conductor guy since then. It’s a shame really as he was very nice and a little tasty.

I’m not sure what happened but perhaps he was just saying he would like to meet up again out of politeness. Don’t do it gents, you may not end up with a girl who like me who will just leave it. You may end up with a girl who will just leave 64 voicemails on your phone. Conductor guy had dealt with a nutter before so perhaps this was why he played along with the second date thing.

Either way he has definitely left it long enough that I have firmly got the message, and whilst it is not nice to be strung along it is hardly going to kill me!

The dates that never were:

Doggystyle guy: I should point out this name is in reference to the fact that this guy had a very stylish dog and is not a nod to his sexual preferences. We spoke over email for two weeks before exchanging numbers; we then had several text messages when things all started to get a bit strange.

He text me to ask me if I had any other pictures, he was quick to assure me he wasn’t after any dirty ones, just recent ones as a lot of people have old pictures on their profiles. I explained that my pictures were all from this year but sent him one of me that day all dressed up for a family Olympic party. He seemed a little reassured by this and asked if he could meet me the following weekend. We carried on texting throughout the week and on the morning of our date he text me saying he had some household emergency. And I haven’t heard from him since….

The Quizmaster: So called because he was the one who introduced me to the online dating quiz you can set up and had a hilarious question on his own, regarding libido. After chatting many months ago which sort of fizzled out he got back in touch and the chat started flowing again. So we arranged a date as this time, perhaps now we were both a little more net-dating savvy, we seemed to be able to get past the stage where conversation seems to die out. On the morning of the date, armed with my jeans and a date top in my bag I went to work only to receive a message as I got to my desk. The quizmaster has hurt his back and may not be able to go on the date but will keep me posted.

He carried on texting me for the few days after the would be date, complaining about his back and me being very sympathetic then…nothing. I sent him a message (the electronic version of me landing my ball in your court) asking how his bank holiday was etc.

As a rule I am the kind of girl who only replies to text messages, I don’t hound men with messages or “oops I meant to text my friend” type messages so unless I hear from these guys again then that will be the end of that.

It does mean the next few weeks are looking a little bleak in the dating world. I have one date set up which is with someone who I wasn’t too sure about at first but due to the lack of attention my way recently I’m not going to be a chooser…

Roll on next week

Love SG X

Hark The Herald Angels Sing

So I had fixed my date with conductor guy (orchestras not buses) for Monday and after Fridays second standing up I was not expecting anything much from this date. I had temporarily lost faith in online dating and whilst I was fully prepared to attend the dates I had in the pipeline I was thinking about giving it a rest for a while.

It was getting depressing to sit, date after date, across from some nightmare guy who has no idea of what passes for normal conversation or behaviour. Even the dates which have not been so bad have been a slight let down in terms of realising that I’m just not attracted to the person and therefore within a few minutes of meeting them knowing I wouldn’t see them again.

To be honest I was expecting either a guy with two heads or a personality disorder to arrive, or for him not to turn up at all.

I arrived slightly early and did my usual and headed straight to the ladies to freshen up, to my relief he text me to say he was at the bar and told me what he was wearing.

From the back of his head I couldn’t tell much about him but he only had one!

Jeremy, 38, Conductor.

The background of Jeremy is this: We had been chatting online for a couple of weeks, his age was only three years over my 25-35 age bracket but as he has such an interesting job and seemed so nice and polite I was more than happy to be flexible on this point. I use the age bracket in the hope of meeting someone who has not been married or had children but it’s not a deal breaker. Other than that I didn’t have tonnes of info on him but he came across very well.

Much to my joy after having had so many dates turn up looking like they are the last remaining resident of fraggle rock, Jeremy was handsome, well dressed and looked like his photo. He was not, upon meeting in person, short, ugly or older than advertised.

Jeremy was also very good at putting me at ease and once we started talking the conversation flowed very well. We spoke about the usual first date things, he also asked about my writing and was humoured but a little concerned when I confessed that I do write about my dates. After reassuring him that I do not use real names or any info that could link back directly to the person he seemed relieved. He even read the “cum hither” entry much to my amusement.

We spent about three hours talking over a few drinks and all in all I would say, compared to my other dates, that it was a success. We walked to the tube and he asked me if I was free next week, to which I said I was and later I sent him a text thanking him for a lovely evening and saying it would be great to do it again.

So there you have it, whilst it was a first date and there is still plenty of time to discover that Jeremy is in actual fact a nut case, there are seemingly some good dates to be had and this has restored a little bit of my faith in dating in general.  

It’s amazing what a pleasant date can do for your confidence, the following day I met my old friend, who I shall name Southern Comfort (she knows why) and told her all about my date. I couldn’t help a little smile appearing on my face when I told her it has gone well.

So there is something to be said for dating, online or otherwise, as a general mood booster and tool of reassurance when the person seems to like you to. After all as much as I may find my own dates disastrous who is to say there isn’t a single man blog somewhere about me? I could well be someone else’s fraggle rock resident!

Drink your cares away (clap clap)
Worry’s for another date
Let the music play (clap clap)
Down at dating fraggle rock
Much love SG X

ATTTTENTION!!!!! time wasters need not apply

On Friday I was due to have my date with squadie guy, real name Dave, I sparked with Dave more so that anyone else I have chatted to online, we had been texting for a number of weeks. He was in fact the only guy I had told about the blog and he joked that if it was only the bad dates that got in he really hoped he would not make it to the blog.

HI DAVE!!!!!

I was in London shopping with my sister and had a lovely day, I timed the date so that she would go off to work and I would just have enough time to travel to covent garden to meet Dave.

Dave was 25 mins late when I text him to ask if he was still coming as I could meet my friends if not. Dave didn't even bother to reply, he didn't show and then he ignored my text. I won't waste a lot of time on Dave, I've a much thicker skin after being stood up the first time but I am disappointed in his manners.

I've also learnt a big lesson which I had momentarily forgotten, and this is reflecting on past relationships. If someone you have been dating for a year and a half can bullshit you to your face, then a guy you have been texting for three weeks can definitely manage it.

So I'm taking this as a gift from Dave to remember not to take online dating without a pinch of salt big enough to make my GP wince.

Roger over and out.

And everything and whatnot and whatever

On Thursday I finally got round to having my date with upmarket guy, so called because he hails from the nicer area of my neighbourhood

I arrived to the date early so settled myself in the corner of the chosen pub and waited for my date.

Dan, 26, IT consultant

Dan seemed like a sweet guy, not exactly my type in the looks department but I am not one for judging a book by its cover. Now I had wondered what leads so many younger men to seek a partner online and I am fast leaning towards the theory that these men have no idea what is required in order to get a second date.

Anyone who knows me will tell you I talk ten to the dozen and am very very chatty, Dan however took the piss! This guy didn't stop from the moment he got on the date until my buss arrived and even then it was a close call as to whether he was actually going to get on the bloody thing with me just to carry on.

The problem overall was the content of his conversation, for example when asked what my mother did for a living I replied "she works for the NHS" which I feel is about as much as you can say about someone else's job, even your own.

Dan told me the ins and outs of his job and all in entailed, and he works in IT. Yawn!

One gem from his trip to America was when he described Palm Springs as a "little gem of a place" as if he had discovered it himself, thanks Columbus!

Aside from the conversation not being exactly riveting Dan had a habit of saying "and everything and whatnot and whatever" at the end of every sentence so much so that I felt a fit of giggles coming on, which was awful as I've never been great at holding my laughter in!

The main reason I won't be seeing Dan again is actually quiet sad, after telling me his father was in the army and talking about what his dad does day to day and various facts about his life, and let me just clarify he was speaking about his father in the present tense, I made a harmless comment about his father looking forward to retirement with such a demanding job. It's then Dan tells me that his father had passed away only a few months ago.

It was incredibly sad to hear someone so unused to their fathers passing that they speak about them as if they were still here, I wondered if I hadn't made that comment would his fathers death have been mentioned?

What followed was a detailed description of his fathers cause of death and autopsy which I'm not going to go into detail about, after all I had already decided before this point that I wasn't going to see Dan again but I did realise that this guy was in no way ready to date.

Having gone through something so traumatic and having spilled his guts to me on a first date Dan left me with the impression that he just needs someone to talk to and perhaps dating is a distraction from what he is going though, all in all not a great date for me but I sincerely hope he finds someone lovely when he is ready for such a thing.