The Homes of Donegal

I have a substance abuse problem, my substance of choice is Irishmen. Southern or Northern, Dark haired or Ginger, I love them all.

I've always had a thing about accents, and men who play musical instruments, this usually encompasses my love of the Irishman very well.

Not much makes me go weak at the knees these days, but an Irish accent can do it. My grandmother is Irish so I have some family history there, I was brought up listening to the great Irish musicians and still love the musical influences to this day.

On St Patricks day I met a young man from Donegal, I say young - he is 27, I'm not a cougar. We never ended up going out and getting a drink due to family matters. You may remember me saying he was very sweet and understanding about this.

Last night he sent me a text, nothing pushy, just asking how I have been and what I have been up to. We talked about where we want to travel and general life stuff.

He seems like a really nice guy, sweet, considerate and nice to talk to. The only downside (or potential downside) is that I cannot for the life of me remember what he looks like, I've got a vague idea and I must have liked him enough in my St Pat's stupor to give him my number.

So, seeing as he took the time to text me a month after meeting, and still remained friendly and polite (None of those- so are we going out or what - type messages) I text him to see if he would like to pop out for a drink on Monday.

This is despite the fact that I really have had it with dating, and I find it really hard to get excited about going out with someone these days. Still I'm going to try and do what I always do and go into the date hopeful and not negative. Its all to easy to assume (at least for me) that the date is going to be tragic.

Why did I not invite him out this weekend? Well that would be because I am going to Manchester to see my dearest friends, Bodger and Badger. I am really excited, I just cant wait! They are the kind of friends that make your cheeks and ribs ache from laughing. I love them to bits.

And if things don't go well with Donegal I am in Ireland for a week from 4th May, forget leprechaun hunting, this is man hunting!

I met my love,
By the gas works wall.
Dreamed a dream,
By the old canal.
I kissed my girl,
By the factory wall.
Dirty old town,
Dirty old town.

Love
SG
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Boston

God bless all those in Boston affected by today's events, remember those all over the world who are faced with these types of crimes everyday, please God hold them in your heart.

It's very hard to explain how something like this affects a city, silences it for a time, despite the noise of the sirens. To those who love a place dearly, it can make the streets which once felt like home, feel like a strange and dangerous place.

Whilst that fades with time it must never forgotten that, on a day like today, lives, relationships, families and generations to come have all been changed forever.

Boston I am praying for you.

Love
SG
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Ben the two of us need look no more...

I once had a friend called Ben, Ben was single, gay, stylish and fun. I forget how we even met but we clicked and hit it off. We started meeting up regularly and he quickly became very dear to me.

About 9 months into our friendship I went to his birthday party and met one of his friends, a totally gorgeous guy who I subsequently spent the next five years in a relationship with.

When we got our first flat Ben was always there, we were a three, we went pretty much everywhere together and, as much as me and my ex enjoyed being together, we never got tired of Ben being around us as a couple.

The ex and I broke up eventually. We’d moved again and in the end we both ended up at my mother’s house, supposedly as a temporary measure. We were there for ages and for various reasons we split.

It was awful and gut wrenching but he packed his things and left. As it was my decision to end the relationship I didn’t tell anyone we had split, didn’t use Facebook to advertise my new status. I just left it but I presumed he had told Ben.

I heard nothing from Ben. I presumed he had been told but I didn’t know for sure. Ben and I usually spoke on a weekly basis at the minimum but time passed, my ex unfriended me on Facebook as did some of his family and friends, so the news had broken. But still I heard nothing from Ben.

A few weeks later I got a message from Ben asking if I was ok, I replied that I was and enquired as to how my ex was doing. Ben said that he hadn’t been in touch because he hadn’t known what to say and to be honest, at the time, I really felt for him. What a difficult spot to be in.  

I didn’t hear from him after that for a long time, and in that time I had met someone new. Ben would have known this because we were still friends on Facebook.

Around the time of my birthday, 6 months after my split I got a message from Ben asking me to meet up with him for a birthday drink. I said I would love to as I was staying at my mums that weekend (I’d moved out again by this point) but, I explained, my new boyfriend was staying there with me and I couldn’t very well leave him in the house alone so if he wanted to meet up, would he be happy to meet him.

No, he said, he wouldn’t meet him, it was out of the question. So we never did meet up.  

Fast forward to Christmas and Ben must be feeling sentimental because again I get a text saying that it has been too long and we should really meet up this time. I lightheartedly reply and say that we should actually do it and not just say it, that I am free any day of the following week and where should I meet him?

I then hear nothing.

A few months later he does the same thing, my new fella and I had by then broken up and I thought perhaps that’s why he felt he could now meet up.

I had all but forgotten about him until my birthday this year on 25^th March when I get a text, again he wants to meet up. Now call me an eternal optimist but when I replied thanking him for the birthday wishes and explaining that my late reply was due to a personal issue that happened recently. When he suggested meeting for a drink I figured it was more to do with what had happened to my family recently than my actual birthday. I guessed that hearing any kind of bad news made him realise that life really is too short and if you had a friendship as deep as ours was perhaps it is worth seeing if that’s still there.

That’s what I guessed anyway.

So we arranged to meet this week and I was genuinely looking forward to it, having been at a low ebb it would have been so nice to see him, I felt a bit emotional about it, no matter what happens your true friends, even those you haven’t seen for years, will be there for you.

Or they will just fail to text you again. The night we were supposed to be meeting came and went without a word. I didn’t text him because;

a. I am stubborn

b. I have been here before.

Ben still hasn’t text me a week on and I’m stuck between texting him telling him not to bother suggesting meeting up again or simply leaving it until the next time in 9 months’ time when he asks me and tell him no.

I can’t imagine why he keeps suggesting meeting up if he has no intention of seeing me. Perhaps he just likes to know that I would still be willing to meet him and once I say yes that’s his curiosity satisfied. I don’t know.

If anyone has any advice on what I should do, feel free to email me: single.girl.london2012@gmail.com

Relationships whether between a boyfriend or a best friend don’t always stand the test of time, and it’s always sad, but this recent stunt has made me realise that a true friend, even one you haven’t spoken to in the longest time, would be there for you in trying times like these. The fact that he played me at a time like this is more hurtful than all of the let downs before.

Ben the two of us need talk no more….

Love

SG

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