A seemingly normal day in the world of internet dating should never be judged too soon, having been asked out again this morning by a nice gentlemanly fellow who understands the meaning of polite conversation I then receive this fifty shades of shut the fuck up...
SirCumalot: would it bother you if I told you I think your so amazingly intoxicatingly sexy that I would let you take me somewhere nobody would see or hear us. Then you would make me kiss and sniff and worship your juicy wet pussy and sexy bum teasing me in panties first pushing my face in ordering me to sniff you teasingly smothering me. Then when you are ready you make me kiss and sniff and worship your naked delicious bum. You throw me to the floor and tell me I am to lick you and make you cum or you'll smother me to death. I do so and you cum again and again grinding down on my face as you do. You climb off me and tell me I deserve a reward and lay down taking my neck in a scissors with your thighs strangling me as you suck me off making me stare at your delicious sexy bum. I cum hard in your mouth just before you nearly strangle me out. I am weak and helpless and you get up and tie my hands to my sides so I am helpless. You stand looking down at me smiling wickedly touching your pussy as you tell me that you've decided it felt so good having me under your bum struggling that you wanna know what it feels like to smother a man to death. You lower down and sit on my chest enjoying my pleas. You look over your shoulder down at me and smile wickedly as you say goodbye. Before I can scream you scoot back and wedge my face in your sexy bum to finish me. You grind down and ride out my struggles and pleas enjoying the overwhelming sensation finally unleashing your final orgasm on my face as you feel me succumb and pass out beneath your delicious ass and pussy enjoying knowing that i did not know if i will wake again. You enjoy watching me sleep knowing what you did and how you will wake me and demand more pleasure.Very dark I know but I'd so let you. Xxx
Single Girl: Would it bother you if I told you to go fuck yourself?
I know, I know I shouldn't have replied but sometimes I just cant help myself, he then replies
SirCumalot: Fair enough. Have a good day and hope you find who you are looking for.
His reply is almost as if I have sent a "sorry your not my type" email. It was clearly his other personality who sent the first mesage! Gascoigne thinks he might be a superhero and when his capes on he turns into SuperFilth.
I personally prefer the theory that fifty shades is responsible for turning some men into budding erotic authors who are convinced the best way to chat up a girl is to talk about nibbling on her beef curtains.
It's not.
SG
X
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