Teacher leave those kids alone...

I’ll call him Stuart…. After several messages exchanged via the dating site I decided to bite the bullet and meet with my first date.

Stuart, 31, school teacher.

Stuart has interesting hobbies, a cute profile picture, he volunteers with children for fucks sake. On paper he sounds like a sweet, caring, interesting man.

This single girls heart may have said "ahhhh" but luckily I still have my head.

Wednesday, 7.30, local pub.

I have given myself the “what’s the worst that could happen” prep talk. It has not worked; I am terrified. What if he thinks I am ugly, what if he see's me and leaves...what if...what if....

If the inevitable insecurities eating away at me where not bad enough Stuart has text to say he is late.

Lateness: This can happen to anyone but it does give a bad first impression, always try to be early.  You shouldn't leave a woman sitting in a pub alone waiting for you.  

Once he arrives I am sorry to say he does not look like his profile picture. Not to say that he is ugly, my eyes are not bleeding, but he is not the boy next door his picture denoted.

Stuart is nice. That’s the perfect word to describe him. He is too nice. Now I am aware that this is a harsh review in a world where the battle cry of women everywhere seems to be that “all men are bastards” 

However I thrive in the company of someone who is witty, sarcastic and opinionated. I have a slightly dark and judgemental view of the world. I get the impression Stuart takes the raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens approach to life.

One thing on the date left me in a constant state of suppressing a giggle. It was the way Stuart spoke. Someone who works with children for a living obviously has an adopted way of speaking but I am 27, and I swear, sometimes a lot.

Stuart spoke to me as if I were an eight year old. At one point I had to excuse myself to the ladies. I'm pretty sure holding back all that laughter gave him the impression I was constipated.

After two drinks and 2 hours spent talking about jobs, the quality of school dinners, the heavily opposed sex education for schools, it’s abundantly clear that neither of us is interested. We say our goodbyes, he kindly offers me a lift which I decline and I make my way home.

So the first date wasn't totally awful, he wasn't a monster or the rapist my mother had feared would kidnap me on sight (Mummy-single wasn't too impressed when I told her I felt sure he would give me back within 3 hours)

And so, on my way home, I am pleased to receive a message from another website contact inviting me out the following evening. After all the first date wasn't totally horrendous so as the song says

...things can only get better.....