On Wednesday night I was out with Dongle and my boss (Who shall now be known as Monica due to her startling personality resemblance to the character from Friends) for a few glasses of wine.
I had just explained to them why I was going to give up online dating and perhaps pursue dates elsewhere for a while. Firstly I am sick of receiving explicit messages. Particularly when they are not very well written and contain words like “sniff”- it’s just not sexy.
Secondly, the dates have never been as advertised, leading me to believe that everyone who is attempting to get a date online spends the rest of their time living in an abandoned castle in France watching a rose wilt while they await a curse to be lifted.
I was midway through this explanation when the phone rang. It was Liam, 28, Healthcare Assistant. Liam who I had given my number to in December and then not met up with due to Christmas taking over. He caught me off-guard if I am honest and considering I was mid rant about giving the whole thing up, I surprised even myself by agreeing to meet him on Saturday.
Why? Because I like to believe in fate it seemed all too perfect that this guy had called just at that moment. Plus I figure that it took some guts to call me up like that rather than cop out with a text, it was direct and honest, that deserves a date.
I was, however, a little nervous about the date. The reason for this is that the moment I gave this guy my number he send me a text, not even a slight delay just BOOM – Text, and he seemed a bit over eager, it was a little reminiscent of Greg. Not to be deterred and with Gascoigne’s advice about not writing him off just yet ringing in my ears I went along with it.
However it was when showing Gascoigne his photo online and having a general gossip about the date I noticed something a little funny on his profile. His profile had changed from single/never married to currently separated.
This made me wonder if he’d had kids, he hadn’t mentioned any but now after this change in status made me wonder. Gascoigne and I pondered this for a nano second and then decided that the best thing for me to do would be to text him and ask.
So I sent him a message asking him if he had children and at what stage of separated he was?
He immediately called my phone which freaked me out a bit because I’ve never met him and didn’t want to speak to him over the phone, just for him to reply via text - yes or no - kids or none. The fact that he called instead of texting made me think I already knew the answer.
He left a voicemail explaining that he had been separated for a year, wasn’t married but did have a child who he saw “off and on”
Now the off and on comment obviously bothered me, how can you see a child off and on? Sounds complicated whatever it is (and this is why I don’t want to date men with children)
Liam then sent a text relaying the voicemail out for me again, explaining his situation so I replied saying I didn’t want to waste his time but that I didn’t want to date someone with children etc. etc.
Dongle thinks I am being mean, that I should compromise some of my deal breakers because everything else about this guy could be perfect and if I don’t try I will never know. I disagree and whilst I would willingly compromise on some things, having children is not one of them. I’ve never met him, I don’t owe him anything.
So onward and upward in the world of dating, I think I will next try something that requires face to face contact instead of online, people are easier to read face to face and as Gasgcoine always says its very hard to "bullshit a bullshitter" so I'll be able to weed out the guys that are trying to pull a fast one.
Until next time
Love
SG
X
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