Honesty is the best policy

Profiles:

As touched upon in date number two’s post, people who date online should be honest in their profile. When setting up a profile you get asked a series of questions. Now in the grand scheme of things wouldn’t it be better to be honest about your attributes, proud even?

Isn’t it better that someone sends you a message or invitation to meet up based on what you’re actually like, rather than what you would prefer to be like?

Lying about anything is only getting your online relationship off to a dishonest start. Trust me it won’t fare much better if you meet up and the lady realises she has been duped.

If you are using online dating because you’re looking for something meaningful then why start it off based on a lie?

Be proud of your laughter lines and a few extra pounds or your geeky addiction to star trek re-runs, if it means you’re not one woman’s cup of tea then so be it, at least you have been honest and in declining your advances (politely I hope)  so has she.

We’re all adults let’s have a little decorum!

About your date honesty:

Upon completing my profile I was asked to complete a section “about my date” what they would be like, look like, like doing, how many fillings they have and so on.

Personally I don’t agree in heavily filtering the men online by hair colour, eye colour etc. As far as I am concerned that process is for the type of women who, despite being single states that she…

“…will only date someone with blue eyes because I have blue eyes and then our kids will have blue eyes…” Oh shut up you daft bitch.

However everyone is entitled to have a couple of deal breakers and these you HAVE to be honest about. Do not waste someone’s time thinking that if you just try a little harder to like him more you might be able to date him. You should know what your deal breakers are ahead of time and lay them bare from the outset.

The Ex Factor

I think my own deal breakers definitely revolve around the fact that my most recent ex betrayed me with his ex girlfriend. I’m trying very hard not to let this develop into a full blown neurosis but it does mean that my personal deal breakers don’t leave much room for someone who has a reason or desire to be in contact with their ex. Personally I don’t have contact with ex’s, its the way I am so I’m looking for someone like minded.

London single girl's deal breakers 

Here's looking at your kids: It is not something I would ever do again, children are a bond for life, girlfriends come and go so if you’re not comfortable with dating someone with children don’t bother trying, you will, and quite rightly should, come third in line after the child and it’s mothers needs.

I do not hide this from my prospective dates, it’s clearly written in my profile – he should not have children. It doesn’t stop the single dads from contacting me and I do on occasion feel bad when I receive a genuinely nice message which I have to politely decline.

But as this is my blog I don’t have to be so polite and so let me make it very plain. Aside from the ex, the potential bunny boiling ex who is not past but very much present due to the fact that the man you are dating raided her womb and now they are biologically linked for life. I can think of nothing worse than spending my Saturday with someone else’s children. This occurring on a regular custodial basis is my idea of a nightmare.

Am I being prejudice against those with children? Yes

Am I being unreservedly selfish in my honesty? Yes

Is my baby making equipment as tight as an early learning centre trampoline? You better believe it, so sorry LadDads but this one breaks the deal.

For better for worse: Personally I would not date someone who has previously been married again. This is not because I believe that people should flog a marriage like the proverbial dead horse, never giving up until all that remains is the desire to murder one another.

Marriages break down, its a fact of life, but in much the same way as children are a tie to the ex, divorce is too. I know many people who can quite happily not speak to their ex-girlfriends but ex-wives, who have built relationships with their in laws and friends, can be much closer to home. The thought of being compared to “Dave’s” first wife constantly would be hellish. Unless the ex-wife turned out to be a complete cow and you, by comparison, look like a saint and even then I would be wary.

Having never been married or had children I would prefer that those kinds of experiences to be a first time for all involved, should it get that far, therefore if a man has ever said I do, then I have to say I don’t.  

So internet dating gives you the opportunity to be a bit picky, sort the wheat from the chaff and filter out those things which would stop you dating someone.

But it begs the question how picky is too picky?