The weight of the issue

I’ll call him Jamie, because that’s the cunt’s name.

Jamie got in touch with me via the website and we had a nice pleasant chat, he seemed normal and genuinely looking to meet someone.

We arranged to meet and he suggested Victoria Station outside WH Smiths.

Victoria Station 6.30

So there I stand in what has now become my date uniform along with several other people all of whom got picked up by their respective owners and I waited….and I waited. 

I decided twenty mins is the maximum time for train trouble etc anything more than that is just a waste of single-girl time but I text my friend to ask her opinion, we work together and she is a little older than me, almost married with two kids, she is a constant source of sound advice.

BTW - She was dying to know what name I was going to give her for the blog, I’ve settled on Gascoigne, she is not into football it is actually the estate she grew up in. Hard as nails with a heart of gold is Gascoigne and I love her very much.

Gascoigne advised to wait until seven just in case Jamie was held up, so I waited and at seven prompt I left without so much as a word from the guy.

Feeling a little deflated I got back on the underground and went to the pub next to my train station for a drink while I waited for my connection.

Getting stood up is one of the perils of internet dating, It’s a faceless activity until you meet someone so it is not difficult for those amongst us without manners to just not show up if they don’t feel like it. It’s the first time it has happened to me but I’ve heard from many others that it’s not unusual.

Luckily I have two best friends, a gay married couple known as Dick and Dom who were round the corner and I was given strict instructions not to move and they would come and rescue me. Sod getting the train, this was going to cheer me up.

Two hours and two bottles of wine later I was no longer bothered that he hadn’t showed because the boys company was the ultimate silver lining.

Jamie then sends me a text after standing me up which read

“Sorry, larger than I expected – I hope you find someone”

As I have said my pictures are honest, my pictures were taken this year, some but only a few weeks ago. My description describes me curvy and of average appearance which I think is fair.

It’s not the fact that I wasn’t his type or that he didn’t find me attractive that is annoying me. People and people and we all have personal taste, things to our liking, things that repulse us. If you have read the earlier blog entries you will know that I have been downright disappointed with some of my dates.

What I have never done and will never do is to look at the person and leave, I’ve stuck it out, it has been painful at times but I could never leave someone standing there waiting for a date only to be let down. I wasn’t dragged up by a pack of wolves after all!

Another thing I could not do to someone is to text them to explain the offending trait and tell them that they are ugly/fat/too short because why on earth would anyone who is serious about dating and possibly finding someone decent do such a thing? I know I blog about my dates but I would never send them a link to it!

Sure I advocate honesty, throughout my blog I have banged on and on about people lying on their profiles but in these circumstances honesty is not required when it is just rudeness relabelled. To think something about someone and to go out of your way to tell them that they are too fat/old/ugly/short are two different things. Its cruel.  

Jamie is never going to meet me, nor did I ask Jamie why he didn’t show so the message was unnecessary. Even if the thought of spending an hour with me filled his cold heart with fear he could have simply text to say he had been held up at work or had a family emergency or said nothing at all.

Sat in the pub with Dick and Dom the tears flowed, the comment was of course hurtful but I was more angry than anything else that someone would find it acceptable to be this rude to someone.

I shouldn’t have retaliated, I knew I shouldn’t but whilst common sense would have normally stopped me, wine egged me on

“You have got smaller balls that I would have expected, you might have said it to my face”

It was a cheap shot but I felt better for it.

At work the next day I was enraged by it all, the kind of anger that prompt you to tell anyone who asks “did you have a nice evening” the whole sorry tale.

The man on the train heard it, the two Julie’s who run the reception in our building heard it, Gascoigne even woke up her fella Reg the night before to tell him (Poor Reg!) basically anyone who would listen. I think it comes from the fact that I will never be able to communicate to Jamie what an absolute sausage wallet he is so putting it out there to other people makes me feel a bit better.

Jamie couldn’t just leave it though because I received a reply from him which inferred that I may have had bollocks myself. Jamie is clearly out to upset me and given the location he asked me to meet him on (looking back it is the perfect spot to be able to view your date and decide to ditch them without being spotted) its not the first time he has done this to a girl.

What worries me is that the next time he does that to someone it could be someone vulnerable, not someone like me who will dust herself and shake her money maker regardless of his opinion but someone who would take the comment to heart.

In fact I do have to agree with him on the having bollocks point (not literally), when it comes to dating I think I have balls to spare, I take a chance and put myself out there with gusto. Which is why I’m not going to let this arsehole get me down.

As Gascoigne always says “NEXT!”