Now after the disaster of being stood up and called a fat tranny I decided that I would be more particular in which guys I agree to date, I am chatting to a few potentials but I am not going to meet up with them until I really want to, and I am setting the meeting place so not to be duped again.
I’ve not heard from the cunt formerly known as Jamie since his last text and I’m no longer upset about it. After all I am very secure in the fact that I am a curvy lady and that my profile and pictures are honest. This picture was taken over jubilee weekend and features in my profile, this is the girl Jamie agreed to meet. Curvy yes but hardly obese.
However I have been noticing this week, possibly because the jibe about my weight wobbled my confidence for a couple of days, that the men online seem to be very conscious of a woman’s physique.
I have sympathy with the men who, having seen a picture of their potential date, have turned up to find that the picture was taken 10 years and 7 dress sizes ago. This is not to bash bigger women, there are scores of men dying to get their hands on a size 18+ lovely and that’s great.
But from my own experiences of dates who have less height and hairline than was advertised I know how disappointing it can feel when the photos of a person look nothing like them.
Honesty is key.
Needless to say given my recent experience I would not consider dating someone who is very verbal about their potential dates weight in their profile and I am confused as to why these men would write when they are supposed to be trying to endear women to them.
Women, even good looking thin women, when looking for a male are not only hoping you find them attractive but that you will also be interested in their brain, what they have to say, whether you share interests etc.
By communicating in your profile that someone who is overweight would put you off you are losing out on dating women who may be a perfectly “acceptable”* size simply because they are worried you will turn up on the date and run away screaming “Ahhhhhhhh fatty boom boom ahhhhhhhhhh”
*An acceptable size is subjective of course.
I’m not suggesting that all men are as shallow as the examples below but rather advising those of you who have online dating profiles to think about how what you write may be perceived by a woman.
These are not direct quotes but you get the gist;
The “about me” section is a place for you, the online dater, to showcase yourself, why are you interesting and worth getting to know more about. Don’t therefore, fill it with this….
I DO NOT RESPOND TO WOMEN WITH ONLY ONE PICTURE AND OF YOUR FACE, IF YOU ARE ONLY SHOWING THE FACE YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO HIDE (IE YOU ARE OBESE OR NEARLY OBESE) I AM LOOKING FOR A CONFIDENT WOMAN AND I WOULD NOT DATE SOMEONE VERY OBESE BUT SOMEONE A LITTLE OBESE WHO IS CONFIDENT I MIGHT DATE
Yes this was all in caps and yes this was the guy’s opening line…
The “about my date” is a place for you to communicate your preferences, her personality, her thoughts on marriage, her nationality, there are lots to choose from but you don’t have to answer them all. Therefore don’t make the only ones you do bother to answer look like this…
Height 5 feet 8
Weight 7 stone – 8 stone
Hair: Blonde
Nationality: Swedish
Can you spot the deliberate mistake? That poor Swedish blonde women mentioned above would be technically underweight, she couldn’t go on a date with you even if she wanted to, and she would be on a drip somewhere dreaming about big macs!
http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/healthy-living/Pages/height-weight-chart.aspx - for the benefits of the gents who don’t know what weight is healthy for a girl – here is a guide.
I do wonder how the male online dating community would feel if we women rated penis size and girth amongst the most desirable qualities, seemingly above and beyond the men’s personality or how kind or romantic he was.
Something tells me they wouldn’t be thrilled.
This is not to say that I haven’t make mistakes which has put the guy off so spectacularly that I don’t hear from him again. In my initial weeks as an online dater I sent messages trying too hard to be funny which I now cringe over.
One memorable email from myself to a guy online really did not go down well. His profile said that he was giving online dating a go because Kelly Brook wasn’t returning his calls, he also said he liked a girl with a sense of humour who could be herself. We’ll see about that!
My email was nice and just a general "liked your pfofile etc" but I figured in a full inbox I didn’t want it to be overlooked so subject line was key…
Subject: Kelly Brook doesn’t return my calls either…bitch!
Now I thought this was really laugh out loud funny (probably says a lot for my sense of humour) but obviously the gent did not as he ignored my email and blocked my profile.
So whilst you cant win them all I do think online daters can steer clear of offending people before any intial contact by putting arseholey type things in their blurb. Make like this single girl and send them an actual email to put them off, just when it was all going so well :-)
Anyway I’m off the edit my profile now…
I DO NOT RESPOND TO MEN WHO LOOK LIKE THEY MIGHT HAVE A LITTLE WOMB BROOM, IF A MAN HAS A LITTLE POCKET ROCKET I WILL NOT DATE BUT IF YOU HAVE A MEDIUM SIZED OR SMALL BUT WIDE LOVE PUMP I MAY CONSIDER A DATE…
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