There are many theories over St Valentine, who he was and what he represented. The most widely accepted theory seems to be that he was a priest who married catholic couples in secret, was arrested, who then tried to convert his captor to the catholic faith and was subsequently beheaded, how very romantic!
St Valentine is not only the patron saint of love and lovers but also - bee keepers, epilepsy, fainting, plague, travellers and young people. Giving young epileptic bee keeping couples everywhere more than one reason to celebrate!
This day has evolved, as we all know, into a day for those in a couple to celebrate that with cards, gifts, a meal etc. It is an annual multi million pound industry and online dating sites are no exception. There is a surge of membership subscriptions in the time between New Year’s Eve (I will find love this year) and Valentine’s Day (fuck we are six weeks in to the year and I haven’t found love yet!)
Now obviously, as with Christmas and Easter these holidays are so far removed from their roots that they are no longer (for the masses) about the meaning of the day itself but instead about the sentiment sold to us by the industries that rely on it for business. It’s probably a good job otherwise valentine’s days cards would look like this…
Valentine’s Day is, for many, a day of celebration with the one you love. Some would argue that this should not be restricted to one day and should be a daily occurrence in a series of small gestures which are mutually appreciated. But let’s be realistic, whilst changing the empty toilet roll carton in the bathroom can be appreciated it is hardly likely to make your lady feel treasured in the same way as a bunch of flowers sent to her office on 14th Feb is it?
I am amongst those who really like Valentine’s Day and when with a partner I like to celebrate the day itself. It doesn’t have to be huge gestures of jewellery and flowers but an exchange of cards and sentiments that means something to you as a couple is never a bad thing. It’s also good to see all the love in the world being declared using various social media outlets. Love is alive and that’s always something to celebrate!
Some people however, despise Valentine’s Day. I’m not talking about the kinds of people who don’t subscribe to the corporate nature of the beast and simply bow out, or couples who decide that it is not for them. I’m talking about those who hate this day with a passion. Why? Because they are single, and this particular breed of Valentine’s Day hater is usually a hypocrite who, upon finding a boyfriend will be all hearts and flowers the following February.
Last year I was single on Valentine’s Day and still in the stage of mourning over my break up, I was determined to approach the day like I would have were I in a relationship and for it to be a good one.
Facebook was full of happy couples and declarations of love, pet names and in jokes graced people’s statuses- all of which I clicked the like button too, after all just because I was in a pit of despair didn’t mean the whole world had to be. But amongst all the merriment was a smattering of miserable, complaining, whining comments such as this from one girl I know –
“Why do I have to read about how much you all love your boyfriends when let’s face it you are probably going to break up anyway, I mean can’t you just keep it to yourselves – so over valentine’s day”
I’m not sure who pissed in her cornflakes that day but they have a lot to answer for. After all
Is it so much of a stretch to be happy for your friend who is loved up? Apparently it is. Over the years I have observed the following about women - I have never witnessed as much infighting between girls as when one is single and the other is not. Women are their own worst green eyed friends.
The battle cry from these single women (generalising here but I have yet to see a complaint about the V day from a guy) is that there is not a day celebrating singledom therefore why should they have to put up with St Valentine’s day and the love of others being rubbed in their face?
Firstly bittersingles - I don’t agree that it is being rubbed in your face, it may feel like it - if you are unhappy about your single status - but it is merely people being happy and celebrating each other, so don’t take is as a personal affront.
Secondly these girls have clearly missed something, which having been single for over a year, I had to learn very quickly, and that is that EVERY DAY IS SINGLE DAY. You can do whatever you want, whenever you want, how you choose to waste that golden time is up to you. If you don’t embrace the freedom of being single it could quiet easily seem like a bleak, lifeless and layless landscape.
Don’t think for one second your friend with the two kids and husband who gushes over Valentine’s Day to all who will listen doesn’t spend at least a few moments wishing she could trade with you while you tell her about your latest night out.
She’d love to give up hoovering and shirt ironing and explaining to which ever retarded boxer short wearing member of the species she is living with that watching him play call of duty is not almost the same as watching the soaps.
So give your coupled up friends their day, they actually deserve it.
In the event that you find yourself in the camp of lovelessness and wish to drag yourself over to my love-everyone-love-the-world side; the following are my top ideas for forgetting that you don’t have a boyfriend and opening your eyes up to what you do have -
1. Consider your options – You can sit there miserable, face like a cow pat, and sulk or you can lighten up and send your favourite facebook couple (we’ve all got one, the ones that seem so perfect) a message wishing them both a happy valentines, share a little joy.
2. Don’t utter the phrase - “I don’t have anyone special in my life” it is an insult to your family and friends, choose someone that you absolutely couldn’t live without and send them a card containing the reasons why you love them. V day is not just about those you bump uglies with.
3. Celebrating freedom – if it bothers you that much to stay in on v day by all means go out – not to one of these anti valentines parties - but arrange dinner with a friend or family member, have some wine and if it helps - revel in the fact that you don’t have a baby sitter to rush back for.
4. Tis better to have loved and lost – well not always, we all know an elderly relative who is single/widowed. Send or take them some flowers, the probably won’t even associate it with valentine’s day but it will raise a smile from them.
5. If you’re feeling really down and unloved seek support, it may be hard to admit how you’re feeling but I’m sure if you text a friend to say you’re feeling a little down cos it’s valentine’s day she would be able to provide you with a whole list of reasons why you are fabulous, feel free to reciprocate, it’s the gift that keeps on giving.
If you are still hating on Valentine’s Day and none of the above appeal, do me and womankind a favour – keep shtum about your feelings for the day- because one day when you meet someone and you want to go ape shit butt crazy for Valentine’s Day some girl is going to hate on you about it. The sooner we all put a stop to looking over the fence and thinking “fuck me that looks green” the better off we all will be.
As ever
Love
SG
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